Years ago, when i was still a very self-centred and shy boy, i always wish there will be anyone beside me to do something. At least i can feel a bit of security. I still remember the first time i went to kl for a part time job during holiday. That is a terrible experience. I had to stay in a filthy and maybe a little bit smelly hostel that was provided. I should had known that when the offer is so generous. In that night, i was always thinking about my family, my house. Ya, i'm really some kind of too relying on family. That's the reason i went there, to toughen myself.
However, after some experiences of taking bus here and there, i start to learn to live on my own. Even sometimes i think that it would be better to be alone. At least i won't be giving problems to the others and on the other hand the others won't give me any trouble.
About two months ago, my twin brother leave for his study. Though, he comes back once a week. Some of my friends asked me:"Don't you feel lonely when he's not around?"(Since he's the closest to me in my family) Sure they will think so, but actually i never upset about that. Maybe i do feel the loneliness, but under certain circumstances i do enjoy it. Is it mean that i have grown up? Or i'm in love with loneliness?
Maybe after these few years, i've never change, still self-centred, but just with a little bit of guts in facing life.